


I'd Hold You In My Weak Arms

by DefaltManifesto



Series: Becoming a Pack [31]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Frottage, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-25
Updated: 2015-03-25
Packaged: 2018-03-19 12:29:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3610149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefaltManifesto/pseuds/DefaltManifesto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anger wasn't Isaac's anchor the way it was for Derek. It was his poison.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'd Hold You In My Weak Arms

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from Walk Through Hell by Say Anything. I have a lot of emotions about this series. Most of them are pretty negative at this point but god dammit Imma finish it. Somewhere around 8 more parts to go. :)

[The tumblr](http://schizzar.tumblr.com)

 

Isaac took a deep breath and let the cool air fill his lungs, his nose twitching at the scent of damp rain on new, sprouting leaves. For a moment, he lost himself in the scents and sounds of the forest at night. It was familiar, safe even, in a way he no longer felt in his own home. He sighed and opened his eyes. There was still an hour of freedom before he had to be back home if he expected to get a reasonable amount of sleep. His limbs shook with the exhaustion of running so much. It was all he did these days. He ran to forget how the happiness he'd started to feel was slipping away even though he had no idea _why_ that was. He ran to forget how toxic every bond with his packmates felt.

He ran to forget how much worse it felt to know what joy felt like only to have lost it.

Isaac flopped down on the wet ground and let his arms and legs starfish out every which way. The trees rustled in the wind but their leaves weren't big enough to block out the stars yet so Isaac was able to trace the constellations his father had shown him before...everything. The comfort the good memories brought him was cold. He'd been getting better at it; remembering the good experiences with bad people. Lately, he found it hard to take comfort in anything that used to make him happy.   

It almost felt unfair, because Isaac knew he couldn't blame his packmates. He wanted to. That would be easiest, but they'd all been through so much the last few months that he didn't dare get angry. It wouldn't accomplish anything but he needed the energy to go _somewhere_. Anger wasn't his anchor the way it was for Derek. It was his poison.

And Derek was the worst of all. He understood what Jackson, and Boyd, and Erica, and Stiles were feeling. He felt it when he was close to them, the aching throb of self-hatred and sleepless nights. But Derek? He was like a stonewall with the occasional drop of self-doubt that put Isaac on edge for days on end. Ever since they'd put all their focus into making the rest of the pack limp along as a semi-functioning unit, Derek barely even touched him. At night, they stayed on their own sides of the bed. During the day, he only touched Isaac if they were both cuddled up to Boyd or Jackson or Erica, and that was more on accident than anything else.

On top of all that though was the anger at himself that he was being selfish and unfair and in all honesty, he wasn't sure which feeling was worse.    

Isaac dragged himself back to his feet. There was no sense in waiting longer to go home. It wasn't as though spending more time in the woods than at home actually fixed much of anything. He headed home at a light jog, hoping that for once the house would be empty and he could have Derek to himself. Part of him was determined to finally do something. Anything, really. Yell, scream, throw a punch, just something to break the tension between them.

As he drew near, he slowed to a halt and took a deep breath. He couldn't smell anyone but Derek, but the determination he'd been feeling just moments before dried right up and he hovered awkwardly at the front door. It was his own god-damned home and the thought of going inside was terrifying in a way he hadn't felt in a long time. It wasn't like he was afraid Derek would cause him any real harm. It was the thought of rejection that scared him. His hand hovered on the doorknob. He wanted to tear the door off its hinges and demand Derek help him fix whatever was broken between them.

Isaac let go of the door handle. He turned around and let his legs break into a run, carrying him far away from the thing he was most afraid of. He let his instincts guide him. He threw himself into the change, into the wolf, and let it lead him where he needed to go. When he finally settled back into awareness, he was sitting in the roof next to Scott's bedroom window.

It was the last place he expected to turn up. Of course he loved Scott as much as he loved his other packmates, but Scott had barely spoken to any of them outside of light conversation at school. Isaac figured there was something wrong, but he also hadn't wanted to ask. He wasn't sure he could handle anyone else's problems and maybe that was selfish of him, especially since he was here now expecting support.

Scott's bedroom light was off, but the window was unlocked so Isaac had no trouble opening it and climbing inside. Once he was in, he could smell Scott's scent, which meant Scott knew he was there. Isaac flopped down on his bed and stretched out, popping his back and then trying to relax enough to soothe the ache in his too tense muscles. He drifted into a nap but was startled awake when Scott opened the door. He was carrying two steaming plates of spaghetti.

"Hey sleepy head. I told my mom you showed up so she insisted on cooking more food," Scott said. He set the plates down on the desk and took a seat in the wheeled office chair.

Isaac climbed out of bed and scooped up one of the plates, suddenly ravenous from the smell. "Thanks. Didn't realize I was so hungry."

"Has that been happening lately? You look uh...thinner. A lot thinner," Scott said, frowning.

"Dunno. Haven't really thought about it," Isaac admitted. "You don't look so great yourself."

Scott's frown deepened. "I guess we've all been a little..."

"Off?" Isaac twisted more noodles around his fork and shoved almost more than he could chew into his mouth.

"Yeah, that...that's an understatement," Scott said. He leaned forward and rubbed at his eyes with the palms of his hands. "I don't think any of us are on top of what we're doing."

"You haven't been around. How would you know?" Isaac asked.

Scott looked up, eyes narrowing. "Did Derek send you to like, lecture me or something?"

"That would imply Derek talks to me, so no," Isaac said. "You two might want to talk though. Can't run a pack if you don't talk."

"He defers to you more than me," Scott said. "Even if you're having problems, he still listens to you more."

Isaac scraped off the last bit of sauce off his plate and then grabbed the second one. "We're all a hot mess. We should have a pack meeting."

Scott winced. "Sorry. I...we just had so many meetings when the Casia Pack was here that I just...I feel a bit panicked at the idea. It's stupid, I know."

"Not really. Makes sense. The last time we all met up we almost died. I think it fucked us all up," Isaac said.

"Look, not that I mind, but why _are_ you here?" Scott asked. "Because I can't tell if you're mad at me or not."

"Sorry, it's nothing like that. I guess I missed having...a connection. With you, with Derek, with everyone," Isaac said. "I don't know how to fix it, and you're more approachable than Derek at this point."

"I can't fix you, Isaac. Everyone wants me to fix them and I can't."

Isaac set the plate aside. He hated the way Scott's voice cracked because in some weird way he felt responsible for adding to Scott's burden. "None of us do Scott, but we have to do something, you know?"

"You know, my dad's trying to get Stiles' dad fired?"

Isaac looked up, startled by the abrupt change in topic. Scott's gaze was unreadable.

"He's been digging more and more. He knows that we're all lying to him but he doesn't have proof of anything concrete or anything believable. But he's looking, and eventually he's going to start believing what he's been seeing this whole time. That isn't even the real problem though. You wanna know the real problem?" Scott shook his head as a bitter laugh escaped him. "It's that he's an abusive asshole and seeing him makes my mom scared and that makes me want to rip his face off and I _hate_ that feeling. It's not _right!_ "

At the last word, Scott's eyes flashed orange for the briefest of seconds. Isaac listened to Scott's rabbiting heartbeat, his instincts conflicted and caught somewhere between running away and sinking to his knees and offering up obedience to an Alpha who wanted control. Of course, Scott _wasn't_ his Alpha. Not the way Derek was. He was something though and Isaac wasn't sure how else to help other than find a way to show Scott that he was trusted even now. So, keeping their gazes locked, Isaac pushed himself off the desk and knelt at Scott's feet between his spread legs.

Isaac knew it was the right move when Scott made a broken noise and curled forward. One hand braced itself on the back of Isaac's neck, bending him forward so that Isaac's forehead was pressed to the inside of Scott's thigh. His other hand curled in Isaac's curls, tight and possessive. It was a bit of an awkward position, mostly because Scott was tense, and some of it bled into Isaac to wind him even tighter than before. Isaac huffed and shifted loose of Scott's unrelenting grip.

He slid his arms up to wrap around Scott's lower back, tugging him forward so that he was perched on the edge of the chair. Isaac pressed his face into Scott's stomach and sighed. It took a little while, but eventually Scott relaxed. His hands moved to rest on Isaac's shoulders, squeezing them and letting his thumbs rub small circles into Isaac's collarbones. The tension drained out of them slowly and painfully and it was almost purifying to experience it together. Their breathing synced up and soon Isaac was floating on the feeling of submission and relaxation he used to get whenever he was curled up into Derek's side.

The thought almost startled him out of his relaxed state. He knew, of course, that Scott wasn't quite a Beta and hadn't been for some time, but he also knew Scott wasn't quite on Alpha either.

"This feels right, doesn't it?" Isaac asked, his voice muffled against Scott's stomach.

"Yeah..." Scott's voice was strained and he sounded a little unsure. "I wish I knew what I was supposed to do."

"You've got me. We'll help each other. It's what a pack does," Isaac said.

"And the rest of them? What do we do about them?"

Isaac twisted his fingers in the fabric of Scott's shirt as an ugly and selfish feeling reared its head in his chest. "They don't matter. Not right now."

Scott sighed and brushed a hand through Isaac's hair. "You're right. All I really want to do right now is take care of you. It's the first thing that's felt right in...well, awhile."

Isaac pulled back and looked up at him. The last knot of tension in his chest smoothed out and he leaned up to press his lips to Scott's. It was a warm and dry kiss and Scott eased him back gently before it could go any further.

"Go change into some of my clothes to sleep in. I'll take the plates downstairs and tell my mom you're spending the night," Scott said.

Scott grabbed the plates and left before Isaac could object, not that he would want to. Isaac couldn't think of a better way to fall asleep, wrapped up in the warm arms of someone who felt like they cared.

 

-.-

 

The next morning, Isaac experienced a brief moment of panic before he realized where he was. Then he had another moment of panic when he realized it was way passed the point where he'd be able to get to school on time. Scott squeezed the back of his neck and Isaac twisted so his chin was propped up on Scott's chest. Scott didn't even open his eyes.

"Relax. Decided we should take a day off. Mom agreed and called in sick for both of us so don't worry," Scott said, voice muzzy from sleep. "Go to sleep. We both need it."

Isaac readjusted himself so his head was pillowed on Scott's chest. The slow and steady beat of his heart lulled Isaac back to sleep.

 

-.-

 

Isaac woke in incremental degrees a few hours later. The first thing he became aware of was how warm he felt followed by the scent of his Alpha, his packmate, surrounding him. The next thing was how good his erection felt pressed to Scott's thigh. Isaac nosed at Scott's neck, breathing his scent in as he began to rock his dick against Scott's thigh. Scott hummed out a noise of contentment.

Neither of them were in any sort of rush to get off. Isaac couldn't remember the last time he got off that _didn't_ feel like a chore. Scott's hand slid down and then up under the borrowed shirt to encourage Isaac to rock a bit harder. Isaac could feel Scott's hardening dick against his thigh, so he shifted to press up into it. The action startled a low moan out of Scott and Isaac couldn't help a pleased grin.

They didn't really try to go much faster or harder. The smell of their shared arousal made the pleasure in Isaac's belly wind tighter, but he was still content with the gentle rocking. He felt a bit like he needed it; the slow build. It was a sharp contrast to the inescapable anxiety he'd been feeling. He nosed his way along Scott's jaw until he was able to press their lips together. Sinking into the kiss felt a bit like he was finally coming home, finally at peace, even if it was just temporary.

When Isaac came, he barely noticed, which was sort of a weird experience. He was too wrapped up in the safe, warm feeling of finally feeling like he belonged. He snuck a hand down to squeeze Scott's dick and that was apparently all he needed. He came with a loud shout of Isaac's name, claws scraping at Isaac's lower back. Their kisses got a lot sloppier after that as they tried to catch their breath.

"We should probably shower," Scott said as he began to rub his hand up and down Isaac's spine.

"Together, right?" Isaac asked.

"Yeah...I like you smelling like me."

Isaac propped himself up to look at Scott and smirked when he saw how badly he was flushing. "It's okay. I like smelling like you."

"That's practically a love declaration in werewolf terms," Scott said.

"Well I love you too," Isaac said. He bit his lip. "This...we...we're all going to be okay, right?"

Scott leaned up and kissed him. "We took the day off. We'll worry about that later."

"Right..."


End file.
